he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
