My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
