We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
