I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
