And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
