she looked like the before picture.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
