Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
