Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
