You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
