even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
