I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
