do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
