Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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