Will you blow on my dice?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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