Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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