i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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