Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
