We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
