I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
