This is not my ceiling
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
