Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
