i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
