i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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