Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sobbing to NWA
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
