i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
