Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Randomize
