I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
