Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
