I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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