i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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