He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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