on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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