Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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