We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
