Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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