so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
