So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
