so that wasnt chicken after all
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We had to coat check the pizza.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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