If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
