Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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