Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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