just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
