so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
