You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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