And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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