One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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