I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
