is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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