I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
