it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
