that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
