Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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