Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
